; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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