My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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