We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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