is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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