Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
