You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
