so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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