Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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