What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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