Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
