Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
