booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
you made out with another girl for some wings
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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