I hate your face
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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