so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
