Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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