don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
