Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
