Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
