This is not my ceiling
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
