So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
