We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
They have beer where we have blood.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
