He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
