i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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