That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
