Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
