Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
