she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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