You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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