I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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