The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
