I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
