I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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