CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
