Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
