I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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