it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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