I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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