I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Randomize
