I could have mohawked her pubes.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
