dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
