'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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