you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
