I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
