Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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