idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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