Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
