Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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