Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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