is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
