If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
